Spread ‘em
Republicans strong!
Democrats weak!
Bullshit.
They’re politicians. They all have spines made out of Jell-o.
Conventional wisdom right now says that it’s the Democrats that are spineless, and frankly, they aren’t doing themselves any favors. But there’s a truth that has to be understood…
When it comes to completely spineless, cowardly, pussy individuals running our country right now, the Republicans are far and above the biggest cock-takers in Washington. Bar none.
To explain why, we should step back and explain the basics. Because the people who don’t know the basics are the ones who need to understand this the most.
There are 3 branches of government. The Executive (The President), the Legislative (The Congress) and the Judicial (The Court System). In their infinite wisdom, the founders of our country, after months of debate and compromise, set up the three branches to keep any one branch from obtaining too much power, leading to a dictatorship or monarchy like they had just escaped from. These are the famous “Checks and Balances” that we’re supposed to have in our government.
These checks are essential and have worked almost flawlessly for the last 230 years. But they must be exercised. These three branches are the legs of a democracy pyramid. If one of those legs fails to work, democracy itself falls apart.
Following so far?
The Congress (the Legislative Branch) is made up of the Senate and the House of Representatives, and in each of those houses, there are various sub-groups whose job it is to perform that oh-so important job of conducting oversight on the other branches, and passing laws to keep things in line. Committees such as the Armed Services Committee, which oversees the military. The Judiciary Committee, which oversees the courts, The Foreign Relations Committee, the Veteran Affairs Committee, and so forth.
Of course, within these branches of government exist people of different political parties. The political parties started in America with names like the Federalists and the Whigs, which later of course came Democrats and then Republicans. The idea of political parties is pretty straight-forward. Form groups that think along similar ideological platforms so that voters have an easier time knowing which candidates to vote for. If you agree with a certain party’s agenda, you’re more likely to want to vote for that party. Then there’s the shared campaigning, organization, and fundraising that a party can produce, but that’s for another time.
Now, over the years, Congress has adopted all kinds of bylaws and rules that govern how they do their job. In their extremely finite wisdom, congressmen through the years adopted a “Winner-take-all” model in the congress, meaning this: Whichever party has the most congressmen in office wins that house (Senate or House of Representatives). And whoever wins the house gets to run all of the congressional committees (with the exception of some “joint” committees).
So what does this mean?
It means that if there are 50 Democrats, 49 Republicans, and 1 Independent in the Senate, even though that shows a VERY divided electorate, the Democrats get to have a majority on every single committee that makes up every single law and performs every act of oversight for the next two years until the next election.
They. Run. Everything.
It’s not proportionate. They don’t split it up. It’s make it – take it. Just like junior high basketball.
Apt analogy.
So who’s been the winner taking it all for the last 4 years? Republicans! In both the House and Senate, Republicans have held the majority, and have had responsibility for oversight and legislation. With control of both houses, they’ve effectively been able to steamroll over any Democratic resolution or bill, the Democrats only able to make noise, but not actually do anything. It’s made the Dems look ineffectual, weak, and spineless.
Which they are sometimes, and as the winners of the House and Senate, it’s in the Republican’s rights to do that. But here’s the thing…
If the Republicans are running everything, then they have no excuse. No excuse for not conducting oversight into the President. No excuse for not looking into the failures of the intelligence that the President used to get us into Iraq, no excuse for not investigating the Valerie Plame scandal, and no excuse for not conducting oversight into the torture scandal. They have no excuse for not holding the Administration accountable for anything they’ve done in the last 6 years.
None. Except one. They are the President’s bitch.
This administration has from day one made power grab after power grab, insisting that the President is above our laws, international laws, that he can do whatever the f*ck he wants. He has brazenly broken the very laws that Congress passed, written signing statements saying that their laws don’t apply to him, and basically waved his cock at the Congress, making himself as powerful as possible while taking away their power. And instead of standing up not only for the constitution and our system of government, but for themselves and their own jobs, they have actually helped him make them more ineffectual.
When the Supreme Court ruled that the interrogation and torture procedures and military tribunals that the Administration endorses on prisoners of war violated the international Geneva Conventions, instead of investigating the Administration and prosecuting, censuring him, or otherwise holding him accountable, they have begun working on legislation that would re-interpret how our government defines the articles in the Geneva Conventions that we are breaking, so we can continue breaking it.
And this is just the most recent example.
Their only job (which we pay for) is to represent their constituents and uphold the checks and balances that makes our American democracy possible. But they’ve shown that their loyalty to their party and to Dubya are stronger, and are far more interested in bending over and taking it from the Administration than uphold our system of government. No pride whatsoever. No shame.
That’s why the new symbol of the Congressional Republicans is a big, gaping asshole that’s been pounded into submission, bent over and stretched apart, ready to take their big sausage from the White House. They are the ultimate governmental whores. Completely useless except as concubines for the administration.
Open wide, fellas. There’s probably a nice big fat one coming down the pipe.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
